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something I could find

02/06/2007 / 3:19 a.m.

a tentative hold
on life in this place
on hope in this space
grasping
for something
that might not be there
afterall
grasping
for a piece
of something like peace
or something
that just doesn't reek
of desperation
trying to be
something to me
something I see
fumbling through smoke
stumbling on stones
trying to find
something to be
someone who sees
someone to somebody
I can see too
its all in your mind
a purpose for being
its not inside me
or any where
i can find
the way too
outside this
a perfect bliss
one moment where
I cease to feel
its so damn near
and to far
too grab hold
a tentative hold
breaking
I fold
here in this place
where the dark is my space
grasping
for something
not written in black
covered in red
like the stains in my head
so you lie
making promises
you'll never keep
holding me here
because you think
its the right thing to do
but I'm looking for peace
or else
in its absence
some form of madness
the most I could hope for
so maybe I bleed
more than I should
and I'm a little too sad
for someone to love
and I fall through
the crack beneath you
my tentative hold
on hope in this space
life in this place
broken
as if it were
never there at all
and maybe
it just doesnt exist
the reason
I keep trying to see
was never
something I could find